My Rainbow and Trinity Neal’s “Rainbow” Wig

Items of significance to Wilmington resident Trinity Neal’s experience as a transgender girl.
2016-2020, Wilmington, DE

An illustration of a smiling Black girl wearing a purple, hot pink and teal wig.
Images: (left) Cover of My Rainbow by Trinity and DeShanna Neal. (right) The rainbow wig worn by Trinity Neal, circa 2016. Courtesy of the Delaware Division of Historical and Cultural Affairs’ Historic Collection.

My Rainbow is a children’s book written by Delaware mother-daughter duo, DeShanna and Trinity Neal. The book follows the story of how Trinity, a young transgender girl, got her first wig. In 2022, the Neal family donated the handmade wig and a signed copy of their book to the Delaware Division of Historical and Cultural Affairs. These objects represent Trinity Neal living as her true self, and her mother’s tireless efforts to raise awareness for transgender rights and access to gender-affirming healthcare in Delaware.

Wilmington, Delaware, resident Trinity Neal knew she was a girl when she was four years old, but as she grew into her true identity, antiquated and bigoted attitudes in the medical community and health insurance obstacles almost blocked her from receiving life-saving healthcare. With the help of her mother, DeShanna Neal, the mother-daughter duo has paved the way for other Delaware residents to get the gender-affirming care they need.

A Black woman with short hair smiles and puts her arm around her daughter who is wearing a purple, hot pink, and teal wig.
DeShanna Neal (left) and Trinity Neal at a 2016 Trans Health Conference in Philadelphia, PA.

Trinity Neal, born in 2003, was assigned male at birth, but began embracing her feminine identity at a young age, wearing makeup and her mom’s wigs, as well as other girl’s fashion items. She is the oldest of four children, and at home was a happy child who enjoyed playing with her siblings. But in school, she was socialized as a boy, which led to her experiencing extreme depression that caused her to withdraw from family and friends. At a time before resources about transgender people were readily available, DeShanna Neal recalled consulting the internet and doctors for help. In a 2021 oral history interview with Researcher Carolanne Deal, Trinity Neal recalled how doctors initially refused to help:

They just didn’t agree with it. They hated how I was acting. And they said, ‘You’re supposed to be a boy, not this.’…So, Mom was like, ‘No, this is not how it’s gonna be like. We are gonna make our daughter happy.’ So she went to the other therapist, who was actually helping people like me, that was her job. But she did [psychotherapy] for adults, so I was the first minor to go in there. And she actually helped.


Trinity Neal’s mother is a nonbinary, disabled activist born in 1984. They grew up in Wilmington, Delaware, where they still live, as of Summer 2023, with their four children.

A handwritten letter from Trinity Neal to medicaid. The letter begins “ I am really a girl. I’ll feel really depressed if I don’t get my blockers.
A letter from Trinity Neal to Medicaid appealing the decision to deny her puberty blockers. Courtesy of DeShanna Neal.

After consulting a psychiatrist and other childcare professionals, Trinity Neal was diagnosed with “gender identity disorder,” now known as gender dysphoria, which is a form of psychological distress that is “a marked incongruence between one’s expressed gender and the gender assigned at birth (natal gender), which may be apparently by behaviors or preferences consistent with the non-natal gender.”

Trinity Neal’s therapist advised her mother to “choose between a happy little girl or a dead little boy,” because suicide is the leading cause of death for transgender youth. They chose their daughter and have been supporting and advocating for Trinity Neal since that moment.

The family’s hardships remained private until 2015 when, in response to Trinity Neal approaching puberty, her doctor prescribed puberty blockers, but coverage for the medication was denied by Medicaid, the family’s insurance provider. This began the Neals’s public battle to get their daughter access to lifesaving, gender-affirming medical care.

DeShanna Neal appealed the insurance’s decision to deny coverage and, through a laborious process, sent letters to then-Governor Jack Markell, the director of Medicaid, the state Insurance Commissioner, and state health officials, citing the denial as a violation of Section 1557 of the Affordable Care Act, which prohibits denying care on the basis of gender identity. After eight months of appeals, in 2015, Medicaid finally agreed to cover Trinity Neal’s puberty blockers. Trinity Neal became the first transgender child in Delaware to have Medicaid cover their gender-affirming care. The victory also set a precedent for other low-income transgender youth in Delaware. Trinity Neal was also the first minor to petition the county court and successfully change her gender marker on her birth certificate to female in 2017. In response to these successful outcomes, she said, “it suits me, I’m finally here.”

Three Black children look at the camera with the girl in the center holding a birth certificate.
From left to right are the Neal siblings Lucien, Trinity, and Hyperion after Trinity received her new birth certificate with the gender marker “female” in 2017.

In 2016, Trinity Neal expressed to her mother that she wanted long hair “like her dolls.” DeShanna Neal and their son Lucien Neal (b. 2004), went to the beauty supply store to find a wig for Trinity Neal. When none of the wigs fit quite right-Trinity Neal also is autistic and has sensory sensitivities-DeShanna Neal decided to make one instead. They knew the perfect wig would play a key role in helping Trinity Neal feel her best as she entered this new stage in life.

A two-page illustration of a Black woman watching a youtube tutorial at 2:30am and weaving a custom wig onto a wig cap.
Pages in My Rainbow.
A purple, hot pink and teal wig is displayed on a dark-skinned mannequin.
Trinity Neal’s rainbow wig, as held in the Historic Collections of the Delaware Division of Historical and Cultural Affairs.

To create the custom wig, DeShanna Neal collected bundles of curly hair to reflect her daughter’s natural Black hair texture. Lucien Neal selected teal, purple, and dark pink strands of hair to make “a wig as colorful and vibrant” as his sister. DeShanna Neal watched online instructional videos and made the wig by hand for their daughter. Starting with a wig cap, they threaded the teal, purple, and pink hair into the cap, row by row, until the entire wig was full of colorful coils. The next day, Trinity Neal tried on the wig and was thrilled.

A Black girl wearing a purple, hot pink and teal wig is seen being interviewed by Essence magazine.
Trinity Neal is photographed during an interview with ESSENCE magazine in September 2016.
A Black girl standing outside in a purple, hot pink and teal wig shows the viewer a two-page photograph of herself sitting on a hospital bed.
Trinity Neal, wearing her custom rainbow wig, holds a January 2017 copy of National Geographic magazine, which featured her story.

Trinity Neal not only wore the wig in photoshoots for national publications like National Geographic and ESSENCE, but she also made the story of her wig the subject of My Rainbow, a children’s book she co-authored with her mother. My Rainbow is illustrated by Art Twink, a queer artist of color who worked collaboratively with the family on the front covers of the book, published in 2020 by Penguin Random House. The book chronicles the true story of how Trinity Neal received her first wig, and the text serves as a celebration of “showing up as our full selves with the people who see us fully,” as the dust jacket description states. Twink’s artwork here shows Trinity Neal with a rainbow floral headpiece, recalling transgender activist and LGBTQ+ advocate Marsha P. Johnson (1945-1992), who was known for her floral headpieces. Once the sleeve is removed, the book’s alternative cover pictures a more realistic rendering of the colorful wig.

An illustration of a smiling Black girl wearing a rainbow flower crown.
Dust jacket cover of My Rainbow.
An illustration of a smiling Black girl wearing a purple, hot pink and teal wig.
Cover of My Rainbow by Trinity and DeShanna Neal. Courtesy of the Division of Historical and Cultural Affairs’ Historic Collection.

The story begins by describing a day in the life of the Neal family, comprised of mother DeShanna Neal and their children Trinity, Lucien, Hyperion, and Thane, as well as their pet pig, Peter Porker. The story continues, showing Trinity Neal playing dolls with her sister, Hyperion Neal. Trinity Neal then says, “I can’t be a girl,” because she does not have long hair like her dolls. Although DeShanna Neal shows their daughter that they are a woman with short hair, Trinity Neal continues to say that it’s different for her because she is a transgender girl.

An illustration of Black girl with short hair looking distressed at her doll with long hair.
The colorfully illustrated pages in My Rainbow.
An illustration of a Black mother shopping at a beauty supply store with her son. The family’s pet pig is visible in the bottom right corner, painting his nails in front of the non-binary cashier.
The colorfully illustrated pages in My Rainbow.

With beautiful illustrations, the book describes the joy Trinity Neal experienced when her mom presented her with the handmade rainbow-colored wig. As the story goes, DeShanna Neal wakes up to the sound of Trinity Neal crying tears of joy as she tries on the wig and loves it. Trinity Neal exclaims, “It’s me, Mom. My hair has finally come! Its my rainbow!” The story ends with the family celebrating Trinity Neal’s joy, and the last image of the book is Trinity Neal wearing her wig, surrounded by her family. When asked to summarize what My Rainbow is about, Trinity Neal said, “love and acceptance.”

An illustration of a Black woman hugging a little girl wearing a rainbow flower crown.
Back of dust jacket cover of My Rainbow.

Despite the book telling that story of love and acceptance, it has also been targeted in some areas of the country for being “inappropriate.” In October 2021, My Rainbow appeared on a list of 850 books proposed to be banned by a Republican Texas lawmaker. Additionally, according to DeShanna Neal, the book has been banned in parts of Florida, Texas, Georgia, and Ohio.

In a 2023 oral history interview with the Delaware Division of Historical and Cultural Affairs, DeShanna Neal reflected on how they feel about My Rainbow being banned in multiple parts of the country:

These books aren’t fiction, in most cases. This, our book, is not fiction. It is a true event that’s happened. And banning something like that is banning an actual lived experience. A lived experience that other children may have but never seen presented to them.

Despite the challenges the Neal family faced, DeShanna Neal decided to further step into the public spotlight and run for office, and was elected to the Delaware House of Representatives in 2022. They also came out as nonbinary in 2022, partly because they were inspired by their daughter to think more deeply about their gender.

As of Summer 2023, Trinity Neal was attending the Delaware College of Art and Design to study video game design.

A smiling Black girl with medium-length, black hair. She has braces and is wearing a striped pink shirt.
Trinity Neal in 2017. Division of Historical and Cultural Affairs Historic Collection.
A portrait of a smiling Black woman with long red hair.
Headshot of DeShanna Neal in 2022 by Carolanne Deal.

Photo Courtesy: Delaware Division of Historical and Cultural Affairs, DeShanna Neal, and Carolanne Deal

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